How difficult is it to practice patience when being
provoked? At the same time, how many times have we responded much too
sensitively, although we were not the clear target of anyone’s malice?
How many hearts have been lost in an effort to win arguments? And yet, as human
beings it is natural and even our right to disagree, and to think critically.
One of the most difficult challenges of character for Muslims of every
background is being able to practice hilm (forbearance) during times of anger
and disagreement—that is to be able to disagree with a dignified and generous spirit, and to think critically without being
argumentative, stubborn, and condescending. It is because we as a community
fall into this so much, and on so many levels, that I found this issue to be a
relevant reminder to myself and others.
The activist argues about strategy,
the student argues about fiqh and other branches of knowledge, the community leader argues in
the board room, and the Imam
with those who disagree with his style or approach. Whether it be with our
family, friends, community members or the Islamophobe—we often find ourselves
in situations where anger and argumentation can creep in, sour the mood, and
sully the spirit. Below is a collection of Quranic verses, Prophetic
narrations, and sayings of righteous people mostly taken from Sa’eed Hawwa’s
work “Selected Writings on Purifying the Soul." These statements remind us to prevent anger and
argumentation from getting the better of us.
May Allah (s.w.t)help us to remember that when we deal with people, our
transactions are actually with Him and not His creation. As such, may awareness
of His presence (ihsan) bring goodness from our speech and characters during
times of difficulty as well as ease. Ameen.
1.) [Surah
Al-Furqan Ch:25 V:63]
وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا
“And the servants of the Most
Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant
address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace”
2.) [Surah
Al-Furqan Ch:25 V:72]
وَالَّذِينَ لَا يَشْهَدُونَ الزُّورَ وَإِذَا مَرُّوا بِاللَّغْوِ مَرُّوا كِرَامًا
“And those who do not witness
falsehood, and if they pass by some evil play or evil talk, they pass by it
with dignity.”
3.) [Surah Luqman Ch:31 V:19-20]
Oوَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ
وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ
“And be moderate in your pace and lower your
voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys… But of
the people is he who disputes about Allah (s.w.t)without knowledge or guidance
or an enlightening Book."
4.) [Al-Trimidhi]
The Prophet Muhammad (May Peace & Blessings be upon Him)
said: “He who gave up disputing while he is right, a palace of high rank in Paradise will be built
for him. He who gave up disputing while he is a fabricator, a palace in the center of Paradise will be built
for him
5.)
[Al-Trimidhi]
“There are no people who went
astray after having been guided except for indulging in disputation."
6. ) [Sahih Al-Muslim]
The Messenger of Allah (s.w.t)(May Peace
& Blessings be upon Him) repeated three times, “Those who search deeply for
confusing questions have perished."
7. ) [Al-Trimidhi]
“Do not dispute with your brother, ridicule him, nor promise
him and then break your promise."
8.) Bilal ibn Sa’d radiAllahu `anhu (ra)
said:
“If you see a disputing,
arrogant, and bigoted person, bear in mind that they are utterly lost."
9.) Luqman `alayhi assalam (as) said to
his son:
“O son! Do not dispute with
the knowledgeable lest they detest you."
10.)`Umar (ra) said:
“Do not learn knowledge for three things and do not
leave it for three things. Do not learn it to dispute over it, to show off with
it, or to boast about it. Do not leave seeking it out of shyness, dislike for
it, or contending with ignorance in its stead."
11.) [Sahih Al-Bukhari]
It was narrated that Abu
Hanifa said to Dawud al-Taa’i, “Why do you prefer seclusion?" Dawud
replied, “To struggle against myself to leave disputing." Abu Hanifah
said, “Attend meetings, listen to what is said, and remain silent." Dawud said, “I have done
so, but I have found nothing heavier than this."
12.) `A’ishah
(ra) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (May Peace & Blessings be upon Him)
said:
“The most hated person with
Allah (s.w.t) is the most quarrelsome person."
13.) Ibn Qutaybah said that his
disputant said to him:
“What is the matter with you?"
He replied to him:
“I will not dispute with you."
The disputant then said:
“Thus you have come to know that I am right."
Ibn Qutaybah responded:
“No, but I respect myself more than that."
At this the disputant retracted and said:
“And I will not claim a thing that is not my
right."
14.) [Sahih Al-Muslim]
The Messenger of Allah
(s.w.t) (May Peace & Blessings be upon Him) said: “The one initiating abuse
incurs the sin of abusing as long as the other did not return it."
15.) [Al-Trimidhi]
“The believer does not
curse."
16.) [Al-Trimidhi]
“The believer does not defame
abuse, disparage, nor vilify."
17.) [Al-Trimidhi]
“Do not invoke Allah’s curse, His anger, or
Hellfire."
18.) [Sahih Al-Muslim]
“Men accustomed to cursing
will not be intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Resurrection."
19.) [Al-Tabarani and Ibn Abdul Barr]
Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (ra)
narrated, “I asked the Messenger of Allah (s.w.t)(May Peace & Blessings be
upon Him) about what saves me from Allah’s wrath, and he said, “Do not become
angry." Ibn `Umar, Ibn Mas’ud, and Abu Darda’ (ra) relate similar
conversations on their own behalf.
20.) [A-Baihaqi in Shu’ab Al-Imaan]
The Messenger of Allah
(s.w.t) (May Peace & Blessings be upon Him) said, “He who is victorious
over his passion at the time of anger is the strongest among you. He who
forgives having the power to release (his anger and take revenge) is the most
patient among you."
21.) [Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated, “The Messenger of
Allah (s.w.t)(May Peace & Blessings be upon Him) said, ‘The strong person
is not he who has physical strength but the person is strong if he can control
his anger."
22.) `Umar ibn
Abdul Aziz wrote to one of his governors and said:
“Do not punish at the time
of anger. If you are angry with any man, keep him in detention. When your anger
is appeased punish him in proportion to his crime."
23.) ‘Ali ibn Zaid mentioned:
“A man of
the Quraysh spoke harshly to the Caliph `Umar Ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz who remained
silent for a long time and then said, “You wish that the devil rouses in me the
pride of the Caliphate and I treat you so rudely that you can take revenge
tomorrow (in the Afterlife) on me."
24.) [Ahmad, Ibn Abi Dunya, Al-Tabarani, and
Al-Bayhaqi]
Ibn ‘Abbas (ra) narrated, the
Messenger of Allah (s.w.t)(May Peace & Blessings be upon Him) said, “And
when you get angry, keep silent."
25.) [Al-Tirmidhi and Al-Bayhaqi]
The Messenger of Allah (s.w.t) (May Peace & Blessings be
upon Him) said, “Anger is a burning coal. It burns in the heart."
26.) [Sunan Abu Dawud]
“When anyone of you gets
angry, let him perform ablution because anger arises from fire."
27.) [Ibn Majah]
“Nobody swallows a more
bitter pill than that of anger—seeking the satisfaction of Allah."
28.) `Umar (ra)
said:
“He who fears Allah (s.w.t) cannot give an outlet to his anger (by
sinning). He who fears Allah (s.w.t) cannot do what he likes."
29.) A nomad
said to the Messenger of Allah (s.w.t) (May Peace & Blessings be upon Him):
“Advise me." And he (May Peace & Blessings be upon Him) said, “If a
man defamed you with what he knows about you, do not defame him with what you
know about him. For the sin is against him." The nomad said, “I never
abused any person after that."
30.) Al-Hasan
(ra) said:
“He that did not safeguard his tongue did not understand his religion."
