'Date with a Woman' - A Heart Touching Story

 After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked? My mother is the type of woman w ho suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.

When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, 'she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we s at down, I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life.

We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice.

Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.

I love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU!' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

Inspiring story of a lizard...

"WHEN A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN'T WE?"

This is a STORY that happened in Japan .

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan breaks open the wall.

Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls.

When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet.

He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

What happened?...............................!!!

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years !

In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind-boggling.

Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years!!! Without moving a single step - since its foot was nailed !

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating.

Later, not knowing from where it came appears another lizard, with food in its mouth.

Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply.

For the lizard That was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...

Imagine ! it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.

Think. Would you do that for Your PARTNER ?

Think. Would you do it for Your MOTHER who brought you after a big struggle of nine long months ? Or for Your FATHER, FRIENDS, BROTHERS and SISTERS?

Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.

As information and communication technology advances, our access to information becomes faster and faster. But the Distance between human beings . . . is it getting closer as well?

"Please NEVER ABANDON your LOVED ONES
Never Say YOU Are Busy When They Really Need You" ....:)

"You May Have The Entire World At Your Feet.....
But You Might Be The Only World To Them"....:)

A Moment of Negligence might break the very Heart which loves you through all Odds..

Before you say something just remember -

"IT TAKES A MOMENT TO BREAK. BUT, AN ENTIRE TIME TO MAKE"

"TO SURVIVE USE YOUR BRAINS, BUT TO LIVE , USE YOUR HEART".

The Love and Importance of Cats in Islam

Islam faith and cats

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) was tender and kind towards cats. He appreciated cats. Hazrat Muhammad  (s.a.w)'s  favourite cat was called Muezza. There is a well-known story regarding the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) and Muezza.

When the call to prayers was heard, Muezza was asleep on one of the sleeves of the Prophet’s  (s.a.w)  robes. The Prophet  (s.a.w)  wanted to wear the robe to go to prayers. Rather than disturb Muezza, Muhammad  (s.a.w)  cut off the sleeve to leave Muezza in peace. Prophet  (s.a.w)  then stroked the cat three times, which, it is said, granted Muezza seven lives and the ability to land on his feet at all times (as you might know, cats have a self-righting mechanism,a righting reflex, which is a complex series of movements when a cat falls and which protects the cat from breaking her back).

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) was so attached to his cat that when he gave sermons he let Muezza rest on his lap and he also drank from water previously drunk by his cat. He also did his ablutions from the same water that was drunk by a cat. He seemed to treat his cat in the same way as cat lovers do today but even cat lovers might think twice about drinking the same water that had been drunk by a cat for fear of transmission of disease from the cat’s saliva (but see below).

Islam teaches Muslims to treat cats well and that the cat is a creature to be cherished and loved. Mistreating a cat is regarded as a severe sin in Islam.

Cats according to the Qur`an and Sunnah

An example as to how Muslims are punished for mistreating cats can be found in the `ahadith (oral traditions telling the story of the Prophet Mohammed  (s.a.w)  and which have been recorded in writing). When a woman kept a cat locked up and failed to feed the cat until the cat died, the woman was tortured and "put to hell.”

It is believed that you will suffer no harm if you drink from the cat’s water provided no impurities are seen in the cat’s mouth. In another story from the `ahadith, it is stated that a when a cat ate a pudding put down during prayers, the person who was in charge of the pudding ate from the same place as the cat and Prophet (s) said this was alright as the cat is not unclean and is "one of those who go around amongst us".

Islam teaches Muslims that, in relation to a cat:

1.) The cat should not be sold for money or other traded goods.

2.) Cats saliva is harmless unless the cat has "visible impurities" in the mouth.

3.) Muslims are free to live with cats but they must treat cats well, providing the cat with enough water and food and giving "roaming time" (a degree of freedom of movement)

'A good deed done to an animal is as meritorious as a good deed done to a human being, while an act of cruelty to an animal is as bad as an act of cruelty to a human being'

How Watching Pornography Changes The Brain

Brain Coral

It is now recognized in neuroscience that the brain is malleable. It changes with our experience and forms pathways and connections that correlate with what we watch, listen to, and learn. From the active engagement in a philosophical discussion in class to the learning of directions in the new city you moved into; even the seemingly passive sitting down to listen to music or watch television results in a constant formation of new connections in the brain that eventually make us who we are as individuals. A huge problem, albeit a silent one, that has reached epidemic proportions is the viewing of pornography, which affects men more so than it does women.

The great majority of articles on the problematic nature of this subject typically speak about it from a psychological and/or social perspective. This article, however, will shed light on the effects of viewing pornography from a neuroscience perspective.

The current model explaining how we learn and remember things at the brain level uses synaptic plasticity as the basis. Synaptic plasticity is the ability of the brain to change the strength in connections between the neurons (brain cells) in response to experience. This involves changing the amount and types of receptors expressed, as well as the amount of neurotransmitters (communication molecules) being released.

A vital neurotransmitter in the brain is dopamine. It has many important roles that it serves in functions such as voluntary movement, motivation, reward, punishment, and learning. Dopamine has been implicated in children with ADHD, cognitive decline due to aging, and depression. Most of the public’s knowledge about dopamine is about famous individuals with Parkinson’s disease such as Muhammad Ali and Michael J Fox, who have dopamine dysfunction pathology.

A vital role for dopamine is in pleasure experience, reward, and learning. Drugs such as cocaine target the dopaminergic system to release great amounts of dopamine which results in experiencing a “high,” often leading to addiction. A number of studies have implicated dopamine in either the anticipation or the direct experience of pleasure. Depending on the brain area, dopamine can be released either prior to or during the moments of heightened pleasure. When released, dopamine strengthens and reinforces the new connections that are being made in the brain while an activity is undertaken.  This in turn acts to encourage the individual to repeat the activity again so they can feel that pleasure once more.

How is this relevant to pornography? As the images are displayed on the screen, an arousal takes place and the dopaminergic system is triggered just like it would be by drugs such as cocaine. The newly formed connections in the brain from watching pornographic images become greatly reinforced by the massive amounts of dopamine being released. Rather than going into short term memory, where these images can be forgotten after the screen is turned off, the dopamine reinforcement ensures they’re moved into the long-term memory stores where they can be stuck in replay mode in the person’s mind. The troublesome fact about this is that the more something is recalled, the more it solidifies it in the brain. Think back to your school days when you studied for an exam – you repeated the statements you needed to memorize over and over until they stuck.

Pornography is fantasy. Different scenes present with different women give the illusion of the watcher having a relationship with a new person every time. These “stars” subject themselves to different demeaning sexual practices by the men in the scenes. The acts in their totality are detestable to most mentally healthy people. However, the design of the act in a pornographic scene is to link one or two normally arousing and familiar elements with others that are not. This is how the viewer acquires new tastes in sexual practice. Electromagnetic waves are emitted from the screen with a fantasy that triggers a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing dopamine. The result is a feeling of a real, yet delusional, state of pleasure and satisfaction. The dopamine reinforces the new connections with newly acquired sexual tastes, and the next thing taking place is the man asking his wife to engage in a sexual fantasy that was downloaded into his subconscious.

The sequence of events in the brain is quite disturbingly simple. Synaptic plasticity works to form new connections as a result of watching pornography, and newly learned memories are stored. Since the experience is an arousing one, dopamine release results in very strong reinforcement of those new connections. Now that the scenes are in long-term memory, two consequences take place: 1) since the very same system stimulated by cocaine is being triggered by pornography, addiction is developed; and 2) the man will often attempt to create his own re-enactments with his wife, which leads to a great disappointment. The re-enactments do not live up to expectations because instead of many different women, it’s now only one. Worse yet, this only one woman doesn’t sound, act, or look the same as the ones downloaded into his mind. Although the first couple of re-enactments might be exciting, soon reality will strike and dopamine will no longer be released because pleasure is no longer derived.

Sadly, that’s not the end of it. After such a disappointment in the actual experience due to the unrealistic fantasy-based expectations, the brain not only refrains from releasing dopamine; it actually dips below baseline levels. It goes into a depression response that results in disappointment, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness in the marriage since the wife is “not up to what he expected”. Despite the efforts by many women to “spice things up” and even subject themselves to the demeaning acts that have been artificially downloaded into their husbands’ brains, the pornography-addicted husbands will only enjoy themselves for a very short while before losing interest. Meanwhile, the wife feels unattractive and emotionally abandoned despite her best efforts, not knowing that she couldn’t compete with the dopamine buzz offered by pornography.

What’s alarming about this information is that the brain acts as a whole entity; its plasticity is global. Change in one area affects other regions. It is a literal rewiring of overall neural connections as a result of pornography viewing. The extent of influence on other parts of the brain and cognition is an area of research requiring attention.

While neuroscience paints a very disturbing picture for those affected by watching pornography, it’s not all bad news. Although the same system for cocaine addiction is targeted by it, the substance is not the same. A cocaine addict must go through a regimented program to detoxify his system or otherwise he’ll be placing his life at risk. On the other hand, many men that have learned about the real stark effects of watching pornography are able to quit immediately without experiencing negative physiological consequences. It does take a lot of willpower and requires the person to busy themselves with other activities. Initially, tormenting replays of pornographic scenes watched over the past months or years will test the person’s drive and strength to give it up. Luckily, the same brain that went through a rewiring due to viewing pornography can also be rewired again. It is an extremely efficient organ that gets rid of unused connections. The longer a person can go without restimulating his pornographic connections, the more likely he makes it for his brain to discard them. Engaging in new experiences and occupying the brain with other PG-rated matters will be bound to force it to prune others away. It just needs time to do its work and it needs to be given the choice; it will always choose what the person activates more often.

- By Mohamed Ghilan, UVic Neuroscience

Source:

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/men/how-watching-pornography-changes-the-brain/

Eating with three fingers - Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)

Ka’b bin Malik (radi Allahu anhu) reported: “I saw the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) licking his three fingers after eating.” [Sahih Muslim, #5296]

Thus, the best way of eating is that shown by the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) which was eating with his three fingers.

Here is also the affirmation of licking one’s fingers after finishing a meal, and not during it. Another hadith encouraging licking one’s fingers states: “You do not know in which portion the blessing lies.” [Sahih Muslim, #5300] Therefore, to obtain the full benefit from the meal we should lick our fingers after the last morsel.

Also when eating, it if from the Sunnah to eat with the right hand for the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If one of you eats, he should eat with his right hand. And if he drinks something, he should drink with his right hand. For indeed, Satan eats and drinks with his left hand.” [Sahîh Muslim (2020)]

A Beautiful Short Story -'On Her Wedding Day'

“After performing Salat Al Maghrib, she put on her make-up, wore her beautiful white dress preparing herself for her wedding party, Then she heard the Adhan of ‘Ishaa and she realized that she broke her Wudu…she told her mother: 

“Mother, I have to go to make wudu and pray ‘Ishaa”
Her mother was shocked: “Are you in ur right frame of mind?!. Guests are waiting for you, to see you! What about your make –up? It will be all washed away by water!!” then she added 
” I am your mother and I order you not to perform salah now! if you make wudu now, I will be angry at you”

Her daughter replied : ”Wallahi I won’t go out from here till I perform my salah! Mother you must know that, ‘There is no obedience to any creature in disobedience to the Creator!’

Her mother said:”What would our guests say about you when you’ll show up in your wedding party without make-up?! You won’t be beautiful in their eyes! and They will make fun of you!”

The daughter asked with a smile: ”Are you worried because I won’t be beautiful in the eyes of created beings? What about my Creator?! I am worried because, if I miss my salah, I won’t be beautiful in His eyes!”

She started to make wudu, and all her make-up was washed away, but she didn’t care…

Then she began her salah and at the moment she bowed down to make sujud, she didn’t realize that it will be her last one! 

Yes! She died while in sujud!"

Beautiful woman who wanted to get married

There was this beautiful woman, who wanted to get married, but she wanted a very pious husband, so she said that she’ll marry the man who recites the whole Quran every single day, fasts for the whole year and stays awake and worships Allah all throughout the night.

She was a very beautiful woman, and a lot of suitors wanted to marry her, but they knew they couldn’t fulfil the conditions she set. Until this one man stepped forward and said he could fulfil them. So the Imam got both of them married.

After the first night of the marriage, the wife sees that the husband doesn’t recite the whole of the Quran, nor does he fast, nor does he stay awake in the worship of Allah, she decided to let it roll on for a few weeks to see if there were any changes, there weren’t, so she filed a complaint and asked for a divorce.

They are both taken in front of the judge, and the judge asked, ‘What were the conditions of the marriage?’ the man replied ‘They were for me to recite the whole Quran daily, keep fast for the whole year and to worship Allah all throughout the night.’

The Judge asked, ‘ did you fulfil them? The man calmly answered, ‘…yes.’

The judge answers, ‘you lie, your wife has said that you don’t, that’s why she’s asking for a divorce’.

But the man insisted that he had fulfilled the conditions, so the judge asked, ‘did you recite the full Quran everyday?’ The man answered yes. The Judge, baffled asked, ‘how? How can you do that?’ The man coolly answered, ‘I recite Surah Ikhlas three times a day and according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), reciting Surah Ikhlas three times is equivalent to reciting the whole Quran.’ The Judge was intrigued, so he asked, ‘how did you fast the whole year?’ The man answered, ‘ I fasted for the whole month of Ramadan, then kept another six fasts in the month of Shawwal, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), keeping all of the fast of Ramadan then keeping six fasts in the month of Shawwal, is as if you have fasted for the whole year.’

The Judge remained silent, he couldn’t give a reply saying the man was wrong, so finally he asked, ‘ how did you stay awake all night and worship Allah, when your wife saw you sleeping?’ The Judge thought the man wouldn’t be able to answer this one, but the man, cool as a cucumber answered, ‘I prayed Salatul Isha with jamaat, then the next day prayed Salatul Fajr with jamaat, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), the one who prays Salatul Isha and Salatul Fajr with jamaat, it is as if he had stayed up all night worshipping Allah.’

The Judge sat there looking at the man; the final verdict was about to be released…

He said to the man and his wife, ‘…go, just go, there is nothing wrong with this marriage’…